Day 10 - Do What You Love and To Heck With the Rest

May 14^th

            I guess I should answer the question why I chose Alaska. My first reaction is to say that I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. But I don’t have to prove anything. The more honest answer is I’m here to figure it out. After I graduated from Brooks Institute I was burned out on school and photography – I needed a change of pace. I needed an adventure. To kill two birds with one stone, I chose one that would put a few bucks in my pocket. There are probably lots of moneymaking adventures I could undertake that would be a lot safer. The danger appealed to me. It scares the heck out of me too. The ocean is to be respected and never underestimated or challenged. Growing up in urban advertisement saturated areas most of my life I needed to get in touch with the natural order of things… remember what matters. I’ve never had the right of passage to manhood. Our society doesn’t provide that opportunity for young men anymore. This country was founded by men who rode out into the wilderness, staked a claim, built a house, started a family, and made their living. The cowboy is an idealized hero of young boys – looking at this model of a man in advertising and movies they grow up wanting to be as tough as Clint Eastwood. But the society of cowboys is changing… not dead, but very different from what it used to be. My point, and why I chose Alaska… this is my attempt to create a right of passage for myself into manhood. The most difficult part about it is that I have two models for manhood – advertising, and my father. I love my father, there are many traits he posses that I love, and there are some I don’t. So I’m still confused about what my understanding of manhood is really. But rather than dwell on what I don’t know or understand, I choose to move forward, do what I love, and trust that someday down the road I may have a better understanding of who I am right now or who I was ten years ago. I wonder who I’ll be tomorrow?

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” 

- Joseph Campbell